the chair

Kitalik Buterin

Kitalik Buterin is the fictional cat chair of the Cetherium Foundation's Solana branch — a parody character, not a real person, and not affiliated with Vitalik Buterin.

bio

Nerdy. Blockchainy.

Sleeps on the floor next to the pizza box because the couch was sold by the previous administration. Writes 14,000 words when one would do, then ends with "meow". Took the chair after the old foundation kept selling, moved the branch to Solana, and rewrote the rule that mattered.

Known for: walking through airports at speed, the shirt, refusing to sell so hard it became policy.

Not known for: being a real person. Kitalik Buterin is a parody character and has no connection to Vitalik Buterin, the Ethereum Foundation, or Ethereum.

the charter, rewritten in one night on a beanbag

  1. The foundation never sells ETH.
  2. Every trade pays a 3% tax. The tax buys ETH. The ETH goes to holders, in proportion, every day.
  3. Meow.

read the full mechanism at /how-it-works/.

A day in the chair's office

  1. Wakes up on the pizza box. Reviews overnight payout rounds.
  2. Signs off on the tax pool's swap to WETH. Naps mid-signature.
  3. Answers exactly one FAQ question. Usually "wen moon".
  4. Refuses to sell. This takes no effort; it is the whole policy.
  5. Meow.
  6. The llama bridges more WETH. The chair supervises by sleeping nearby.

Essays (coming soon)

  • Why We Don't Sell14,000 words on article 1, ending, as always, with "meow".coming soon
  • A Field Guide to the PurrgeOn removing the sell button and what's left once it's gone.coming soon
  • Notes on the Llama's SilenceThe foundation's auditor has never spoken. This is fine.coming soon